13 September 2018

Does this look good? Or should I wear something ELSE instead?

Does this look good?  Or should I wear something ELSE instead?

Credit: @Clover Fashion

It’s hard to believe how much our own self-confidence influences how others see us. I recently took the liberty of conducting a little test. Of course, I was the only one who knew the rules. In fact, I was the only one who knew the test was even happening.

I wanted to find out how my own attitude influenced someone else’s perception of an outfit or the way I styled it.

I’ve often noticed that an air of satisfaction and a positive attitude can really upgrade an outfit. And sometimes exactly the opposite happens. I’m looking in the mirror and somehow just don’t feel beautiful – a little insecure and even uncomfortable in my own skin. In these moments, my outfits feel bland and like they just aren’t working.

I asked myself if other people are able to pick up on how I see myself in these moments. Is it possible that I am the one responsible for my outfits falling short of the mark when I feel insecure? And does a confident and positive attitude have exactly the opposite effect?

A little test should be able to answer these questions.

One outfit, one person: Two different situations and emotional states had to be created.

I picked out a pink floral wrap dress and nice black sandals – the outfit couldn’t be too extravagant or ostentatious, of course. The colors had to be discreet, relaxed, and friendly so I could be sure that my outfit wasn’t one of those “yes/no” ones. It needed to be my mood that influenced the decision of another person, not the outfit alone.

And then things got started: Put on the outfit, get into the mood I’m testing out, and go meet an unsuspecting person – in this case, a good friend. First up for the emotional states was gloomy, insecure, and downtrodden. I looked down uncertainly, standing there with my shoulders somewhat lowered and with a slight hunch.

Coming across rather uncertain, I asked my friend if she liked my outfit. She eyed me with a quizzical expression, somehow not sure of herself. Maybe she was looking for mistakes – triggered by my uncertain and insecure attitude? Or she simply just didn’t like the outfit? I exacerbated the situation with the following question:

“It doesn’t look good on me, does it? I don’t think it flatters my figure at all!” After a few more seconds of prompting, she said: “Maybe you have another one hanging in the closet and we compare them? What do you say?”

Inwardly I was happy and thinking to myself: “Strike!” But still, I wanted to convince her again in a self-confident situation that exactly the same dress looks great on me and really suits me. That evening I deliberately chose a different dress – the test outfit couldn’t get burned into her memory.

A week later part two of my test began: The very same dress she disliked had to make a comeback. This time, I met her with a self-confident attitude and an insanely big smile. I twirled around in the pink dress and asked her radiantly: “What do you say? It’s perfect for today, isn’t it?” She smiled at me and said: “Yes! Brilliant! You look really great in that dress.”

It was as I suspected: Our emotional state influences how others perceive us.

Of course, I eventually let my friend in on the fact that she had been a very important part of this test of mine. What’s crazy is that she couldn’t remember what the dress looked like when she disliked it a week earlier. She didn’t know that it had been the same dress both times.

This test is not representative and far from a study, but it has shown me that our internal state does radiate out into the world. Our mind influences everything around us, be it our outfit, the scent of summer, or the feeling of a kiss. The inside is working with the outside to make up the overall package. Remember that the next time you’re buying an outfit and maybe you’re even keen to do a little test now yourself.





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